So...Today is a new day!

Last night at church I had an epiphany:  I AM MY OWN PERSONAL ENABLER!  As I was laying in my bed meditating (unintentionally) on the message, the Lord spoke to my heart and showed me that I invest in keeping myself back...I AM "THE MAN"  I thought about all of the resources that God has given me to get back into school that I had squandered on sheer stupidity.  I thought about the food that I invest in that tastes good, but keeps me from my goal, thus binding me in defeat.  Then I thought about a verse that God gave me to claim over my family:  Joel 2:25-27 which states:

I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm^[b]—
my great army that I sent among you.
²⁶ You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.
²⁷ Then you will know that I am in Israel,
that I am the Lord your God,
and that there is no other;
never again will my people be shamed.

 

Which ended up really being for me, God is my father and I am his little girl.  He allowed me to fail so that I could come to the end of what I can do and allow him to do it for me.  He wants the glory!  This is how I am new:  I have no more tricks up my sleeve, no more clever ideas, I am too exhausted to DO, all I can do is rest and surrender ALL of me, God does not help those who help themselves, He helps those who fully trust in him surrendering all, determined to do whatever He says (John 2:5).  This is what I do know: He is about to give me a NEW identity, He is going to take me places I dont even have the mental capacity to dream of, He has healed me, and going to use me to lead others to his healing power.